The boys had a beatdown...
So, this past weekend the boys got into their first real fist fight. Andrew ended up with a black eye and a bruised shoulder. Colin had lots of scratches. And I sat there and let them do it. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't want them to keep beating on each other. But you know the advice you've always heard - don't get in the middle of two dogs fighting? Well, the same applies to a 10 and 11 year old. I shouted for them to stop - they didn't. When they were starting to wind down, I got in the middle and sent each to a corner. Then they started up again. And have I mentioned the cuss words? Yes, they know all of them. I can only wonder what my nice, elderly neighbors think. They had to have heard the screaming. Not yelling, S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G.
I felt (feel?) rather like a parenting failure. Mike was not home at the time. So there was nothing he could do. Once they had gotten it out of their system - Andrew went storming off to his room and Colin sat down on the couch and cried. He was worried that he would be in lots of trouble. But I didn't really punish them. Took TV away for the weekend. But really, by the end of the day, they were back, playing with each other. Is this normal? I mean, Bruce beat the crapola out of me when we were little, but we never really played together and he never really "hurt" me. And he certainly never did it when mom or dad were around.
So should I have washed their mouths out with soap? We ended up having a "family meeting" once Mike was home. Lots of "We're disappointed" and "You should know betters" but no real consequences. Of course, I felt bad ALL DAY. Cried a lot. But really, by Sunday evening, at the pool, they were playing like the best friends that I see them as (usually). What else should I have done? Or was it all right for me to just let them get it out of their system? And why am I second guessing my parenting decisions?
And really, I had thoughts like "this is when I wish we only had one child" or "I have to seriously endure this for another ten years or so before they 'grow out of it?'" Sigh. Here it is two days later and I'm still obsessing, although my kids have basically forgotten about it. They were concerned over how to answer "What happened to your eye?" because neither wanted to say they had fought with each other.
Anyhow, not the greatest subject for posting, but it was on my mind this morning.
The boys had a beatdown...
So, this past weekend the boys got into their first real fist fight. Andrew ended up with a black eye and a bruised shoulder. Colin had lots of scratches. And I sat there and let them do it. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't want them to keep beating on each other. But you know the advice you've always heard - don't get in the middle of two dogs fighting? Well, the same applies to a 10 and 11 year old. I shouted for them to stop - they didn't. When they were starting to wind down, I got in the middle and sent each to a corner. Then they started up again. And have I mentioned the cuss words? Yes, they know all of them. I can only wonder what my nice, elderly neighbors think. They had to have heard the screaming. Not yelling, S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G.
I felt (feel?) rather like a parenting failure. Mike was not home at the time. So there was nothing he could do. Once they had gotten it out of their system - Andrew went storming off to his room and Colin sat down on the couch and cried. He was worried that he would be in lots of trouble. But I didn't really punish them. Took TV away for the weekend. But really, by the end of the day, they were back, playing with each other. Is this normal? I mean, Bruce beat the crapola out of me when we were little, but we never really played together and he never really "hurt" me. And he certainly never did it when mom or dad were around.
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